Kgaugelo’s Weblog

Archive for the ‘life and respect’ Category


Yes, I know I’ve been gone for almost four months *gasp* but nonetheless Mrs K is back. You probably thinking dude it’s been over 97 days, 18 hours and a few seonds since you’ve last blogged, what happened? Was I in hospital? Did I get stranded somewhere? No silly, I just had the writers block…*and there was silence* Hmmm I guess that’s not valid enough ok ok ok I as afraid of blogging again. I guess you may call it “spiral of silence”. My passion for writing was sort of stunted but yes I apologise for mysterious disappearance. I’ll will not do that again but just know this time around I won’t blog as much as I used to because I hardly have time to myself.

So much as happened over the last few months- I actually don’t know where to begin. I’m always overwhelmed by the thought that I’m actually in fourth year completing my Bjourn@ Rhodes and specialising in new media *someone pinch me please* I still think it’s a dream. Anyhow it’s been great, we’re moving like lightning through our course work and I haven’t had time to digest and process some of the stuff  but it’s all going wonderfully and I’m loving every second.

My family is great- mom is happy as usually, my brother is growing fast, we had our family extended over December. Yeah that was a huge one but slowly we’re coming to terms with that (will blog about this-it has been tough for my mom). We’re praying and hoping for some miracle and breakthrough to occur. I also saw my little brother and he is getting cuter by the moment, paps has issues as always but I love him nonetheless. My man is good-he is becoming more and more handsome and I fall in love with him every single second of everyday. My highlight for the Dec/Jan holiday was our third year anniversary-can’t spill too much info -but lets just say that he was Mr Charmer of note and the day was spectacular! I’ve become Multimedia Editor for it has not been easy but I’m praying for an answer concerning our website. I’m still tutoring and mentoring and enjoying the platform of sharing my life and skills to fellow varsity mates. Lastly and probably most importantly, I’m starting a business and it seems big, I not sure how big but I’m excited and I can’t wait to actually talk to the relevant people about it and get it up and running in Johannesburg.

So yeah… That’s  what happened over the past four months in a nutshell. Don’t worry I’ll blog and set up pictures about everything that’s happening when time allows. For now, I need to go back to my readers we’re doing digital photography- it’s going to be interesting knowing that I can’t take professional pictures to save my life.

I’ll end off the post by saying welcome back Miss K and I wish you many rewarding posts…”Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can”.

” Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it”. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Tweek Vs. Craig, 1999

Td Jakes always speaks of having the spirit of good-bye and being able to let go of things that come into our lives for a season. ‘Tis a sad season because most of my friends are leaving varsity. Makhie, Muts, Kele, Kholo and Tumi just to name a few. It’s such a harsh reality to know that the friends that you know [whom are your pillars] have to go and I need to let them go. On the other hand what is revealed to me is that life keeps moving whether one likes it or not- it’s a clear indication that we’re growing and new seasons are coming, bringing along new friends and new pathes. However, it’s unfortunate that some people will be left along the way. But it’s one of those things that we accept and move on. Some people come for a particular reason in your life and we need to remember that seasons come and go and so do friends. So I bid them farewell… ’til we meet again my friends.

“Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends”
Richard Bach

I found this interesting blog and to top it off-it’s my spiritual father’s. Go  check out his post titled “a perfect day”… he speaks of his daughter’s wedding… it was absolutely beautiful. Apparently he picked out the dress for her-it’s gorgeous!

TD and his daughter

TD and his daughter

Noel Jones, Tyler Perry and many more other powerful and anointed guests were there… ah I wish I could have a wedding like that and have my biological father says what TD said about his daughter… it’s a pity that won’t happen any time soon because we not speaking to each other, I even wonder if he’ll walk me down the aisle? I doubt it though, things have been so pear shaped lately and it’ll take one huge miracle to get things back to normal again, but then again we were never one of those ‘normal’ families… maybe I’ll be one of those brides who walk down the aisle by themselves… hmmm now that I think about it- that’ll be quite awkward…it’s going to be  very interesting how that day will pan out…Anyhow before I throw a pity party for myself, I must say Sarah had a lot of bridemaids…5?! And her hubby had 7 dudes by his side…now that’s madness…I don’t think I’ll have bridemaids because…eish it’ll be a difficult procedure… at the most I think I’ll have one… but we’ll see… let me go back to my studying  *huge sigh and yawn*

Marriage is ever made by destiny.
George Chapman

The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.
Denis Watley

The past 3 months or so I’ve been slightly anxious especially about my academics and my degree. I left high school having planned to do journalism and media studies and when I arrived at varsity I fell in love with New Media. I didn’t know what was in it-I was just drawn to it and as time went by I really started being obsessed by this specialisation, I mean I look at cnn’s website, the times multimedia portal and many others, and I’d go absolutely crazy. I believe new media is an innovative field within the media industry, it’s fresh, exciting, thought-provoking and I believe it will take journalism to new heights in terms of reporting and giving a voice to the voiceless in this evolving world we live in. I really see myself doing this but moreover owning a multimedia empire before the age of 35 [and mothering nations-want to build shelters for broken women and orphans together with my husband].

So many people look down on this Benoni girl and they do not know what I possess. However, it has not been smooth sailing- I’ve had to work three times harder than most students just to where I am and the competition has been rough but I’m proud to say that I’m 6 weeks away from attaining my degree and nothing will stop me.  I find comfort in these words, “We find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve”, because I feel the obstacles that have come my way have made me even stronger. So even though there is a hectic process of applying into specialisations here at school, which by the way only 8 are chosen from 120 students who apply for new media, I’m still confident that I will get whatsoever I long for.

The reason why I’m so sure about this is, is because I know all will be alright, whether or not I get in. All has been mapped and planned out for me-my days are ordained so I’m not going to worry myself sick about my future but rather, I’m going to be at peace with myself and press forward for the goal which lies ahead of me. I know I will eventually get there and there are many doors out there, not just one.  As soon as I realised this my anxieties and struggles within my heart were settled and I gained the utmost confidence to keep pushing-work hard, finish my undergrad and move on to my next chapter of my life and eventually own my multimedia company. I’m feeling excited about it because I’m not limiting myself. Things are going to get bigger and better. So watch this space…

The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams. Og Mandino (1923 – 1996)

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.  Colin Powell

The week has come and gone… I’m glad I’m still alive and kicking because ohh work has doubled over the past two weeks and you should see me right now… I’m looking like a walking zombie and it ain’t a pretty site…lol.. thank God my boyfriend is not around to see what I look like. Oh well What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and like I always say, sleep is for the weak… lol…

But you know what? I actually like working non-stop. It gives me an absolute high, when I’m working on many projects, producing packages, meeting deadlines-there is this calm thing in me which makes me at peace and its not drugs. Everyone around me complain, panic, scream, freak out etc but for some funny reason… I laugh it off and I keep going. This just gives me such a rush and I’m high for at least two days and then of course I crash come end of term.

But for now, I really feel Friday shouldn’t come because I always have a void during weekends…and I feel ahh now what? Everything is handed in…there’s nothing to do, I can’t nap… I always feel Friday is such an anti-climax – I don’t know what to do with myself. Eish maybe I should start next week’s work… lol not a chance. Yes I may be an eager beaver who loves being a workaholic [and I enjoy it, every minute and every second of it] but I do chill and sometimes miss home… So to kick off my weekend I’m going to watch Heroes…

Alice Walker:  No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow

My girls and I were chilling at a new joint in Gtown and we were chatting about God, love, life, friends, sex, money, the future and the list goes on and on. But throughout the night I realised that you know women have lots of issues man. We go through stuff!! And I don’t think men know this.

The topic that stood out for me were how we women hold onto things that are holding us down. Be it men who do not plant anything good in our lives, girlfriends who speak badly of us etc. We are hoarders and we think we can change those that are part of our lives but I say if that person ain’t adding anything good to your soul and mind, let them Go!!! TD Jakes says, “have the Spirit of goodbye” meaning when that person’s season has gone past and they are dragging you down instead of pulling you up, wave goodbye to them-their season is gone.

Having said that it is difficult to do so. I mean I was in the same situation not so long ago with one of my friends. I loved her dearly and still do but people grow apart and that was the case with my friend and I. We moved to different varsities, we were 1200km away from each other and life continued. Letting her go broke my heart but I figured if we are true friends we will meet again hopefully in the near future, if not it’s cool. I have met other wonderful people and I feel blessed to have them in my life. So yeah I’ve waved goodbye…

Another topic which struck me the most was the ambition of my friends. Haaibo, I’ve met some interesting people in my life but the women i was chilling with showed me and inspired me to gear up my gears. Life holds so much and it’s wonderful to dream but it’s even more spectacular is doing what you love and doing passionately. We want to work, get what belongs to us and leave a legacy. It’s great when you find women who build you and make you stretch your faith even further. Without a shadow of doubt, I know that the five of us are going to shake the media landscape by it’s horns and they won’t know what hit them! Thank you ladies for an interesting evening, we should  do it again sometime…

I’d like to start off with a quote from William Donahue.

“We have about 47,000 priests in this country and most of them are damn good men, but some of them are rotten.”

What is it about men over forty who go through mid-life crisis?

Is it the monotonous life that drives them to seek something new and exciting?

Are they really bored with their wives or are they just plain selfish?

What occurred over the past couple of days ago has stunned me. At first I did not know this man at all. After a couple of sips of Jack Daniel with my friends, he explained exactly who he was and how much power he has over the up coming generation. At first I began to like him, well let me rephrase that, I began to like the way he thinks. I’m attracted to men who have, for lack of a better phrase, a mature mentality. So there was, intrigued by this old man [and I mean old- around 48] drawn in by his knowledge, power, insights about life, his life style and charisma. But than it dawned on me, I said to myself, Kgaugelo wait a minute this man is old enough to be your grandfather snap out of it! So I did and I realised that he was just some dude who thinks he’ll get lucky. To top it off he tried to speak slang, now and again throwing in swear words like “s%@t and f&$k” so as to identify and fit in with the urban lingo and I was not impressed. As he was going on, I realised that shame all he wants is to be young again and it disgusted me.

And this experience reminded him what it feels like to be below thirty. To chill and just be. No worries about work, family, responsibility and That’s what we gave him. That space to be new again, he dropped his big title and BEE tie and chilled with the three of us.However, I think when life has gone passed don’t leave behind your responsibilities. I later found out that he was married-feel very sorry for the wife because I do think he does this everywhere he goes [macks young girls hoping to score] ag sies man, ba bodile [translation: they are rotten]! Don’t they ever think of repercussions? Ag shame he had knocked on the wrong tree this time around. I’m not one of those girls BEE dudes can pick up… I’m going to get to the top the right way and I don’t care how long it takes as long as my intergrity is intact.

The funniest thing is that most men go through this. I kept on wondering, “dude don’t you have a wife whom you respect and love?” Where have the morals and values gone to? BEE dudes, now that they have made it they forget who stood by them as they struggled, they live for the moment forgetting that there are diseases out there, most importantly they forget that the money and fame can disappear in a matter of seconds and no one will be there for them. This man reminds me of my dad and step-dad but those are stories for my next blog. Stay tune…

April 2020